


I shouldn't, I don't want to, but I do.

by yeasties



Category: korean hip hop
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27741829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeasties/pseuds/yeasties
Summary: Adora's life was never like anyone else's, she never truly felt like her own person, always alive for someone else. So when her mother announces that she is to be married to someone twenty years older than herself, she finds it no different from the parts of her life. But this time, she doesn't find it as unbearable as before, in fact, she quite enjoys it.
Relationships: Deepflow/reader





	I shouldn't, I don't want to, but I do.

The hope that the roads never stop, that the crossing doesn't come up at the end is always constant in Adora's life. In her life, being lost in the maze of the metropolis is so much more preferable than being with her people.  
This time it's the aisle of her wedding. Adorned in jewels and expensive fabric, she treads down leaning on her father for support, begging for her feet to not fail her. Her hands are shaking under the gaze of her very-soon-to-be husband's family. She had gone from just coming home from school to being the bride to being a thirty-six-year-old man, she wept every night for the snatched adolescence leading up to the ceremony. For the money, her family said, for stability and safety- don't be selfish! The words playing through her head urging her further down the path to fulfill the agreement made between her family and the groom's.  
After the vows, the meal, and thanks, her parents depart from her one last time. They apologise and she tells them that it's for the best, to not feel guilty and that she's happy to help. The tears escape as her parents join the stream of leaving guests, it as if they're not meant to mean anything to her anymore. It's one of the many losses she takes, her friends, freedom, family all gone for a man, for money.

She's led to a room and changed out of her big dress into something more comfortable and then put in a car. And he's there. She sat next to him for the whole ceremony and still has not said a single word to him yet, she looks out, her heart too weak to look at him and his massive stature. He filled up any single position and his presence was unmissable, she was filled wholely by fear of him. She looks back out the window as the car starts moving away, more tears are shed and she hopes he can't see them in the dark light. It is the only time she wished she was home, somewhere found and not lost. Who was she? She was no longer a teen girl, her toys, and immature jokes with her friends all gone washed away from her by her tears. But it's not as if she can pretend to be a woman, pretending would only look foolish and more juvenile tan her own childish nature. She felt tangled in between the nature of herself, a no-mans-land that she had been thrust out into naked. Who was she to be and to do now? All her clothes feel different on her now, they sit on her uncomfortable and stiff, even her skin felt different.  
The car moves along the night roads to the quiet suburbs of Seoul with the large houses, a stark contrast to the cramped apartment her family were stuffed into by a lack of money. She grips onto the fabric of the seat slowly edging her head right to look at his face properly. It's half shadowed by the dark night and the moonlight brings no relief, but she makes it out vaguely; it's large and round but proportionate.  
He looks back at her. Her head snaps back round to the window and he chuckles, "I won't hurt you," he says.  
"I know, I just... I've never been married to someone twice my age before," she says back apprehensively, still looking out at the window.  
"So have you've been married to someone the same age as yourself?" he asks comedically in an attempt to lighten the mood.  
"You think you're funny?" she says vindictively. With no response from him, she says "see, this is why you've been married off to a fifteen-year-old." And the conversation stops until the car pulls to a stop at the gate of a large, two-floored house.

The driver opens her door and lets her out and she thanks them. She's ushered by two ladies at the steps to move into the house and they pull her into the lobby and up the stairs before she can even see the man come out of the car as well. They shove her into a large bathroom and lock the door behind her. "What's happening now?" she asks.  
"We have to wash you first before you can see him again," one of the answers, and starts removing the clothes off her body while the other turns the tap of the bath on, releasing a flow of steaming water.  
After being stripped, the women leave her to get in the bath herself. She submerges her body into the hot water and looks out of the window nearby, was this to be her life now, completely shrouded in mystery and despair?

She was clothed again by the assistants and led to a room that was told is hers. The vast expanse of the bedroom and the soft carpeted floor, the ocean of the bed, and the blooming light of the candles left her feeling quite comfortable, a room that was hers. It won't be the same comfort as her friends and family but enough to block out the situation she was in, she could make it hers. That was until the door clicked open. He's there and no amount of talks ad preparation from her mother could have helped her for when he came in. It startles her now, it finally hits her in the face and pushes her into the deep end of the pool. She's married. That's her husband and will be until her death. 


End file.
